i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
