I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize