how do flat chested girls get laid?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
