I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
