he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
