please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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