Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
