there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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