Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
