Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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