"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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