When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
