btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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