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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Why are we friends again?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???

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• (707): View more from California

  Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  When is the party?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.

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