Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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