? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
