dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
