Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
