Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
