ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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