it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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