i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize