cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize