I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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