I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
