Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize