Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
