just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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