butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
