out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
