There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
