For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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