Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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