And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Too much gin, very little bucket
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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