Your mouth is God's brothel.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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