I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
worst night to have a conscience
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
