I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I love you. Go after that dick
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize