did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
