Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize