You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You pole danced in your parka.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
