***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
