I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize