dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just gift wrapped bread.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
