dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize