I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
