There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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