I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
