Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
