oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
