How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Randomize
