You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize