Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize