I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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