i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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