You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
