It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
