FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
