we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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