I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
