you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
