im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
