i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
