i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize