Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
