At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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