Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
