Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
