speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
