Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
