I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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