you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize