I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
