Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
