dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dear god my vagina.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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