I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize