A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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