sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
