i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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