i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He better not be in your backpack
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
